Believe it or not, this is a motorcycle mower. I thought it was pretty rad. I'd totally buy one. If for no other reason than just to say I have one.

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

Mowing Today: So I’ve had two days of mowing so far with so much to tell. Yesterday I had quite an eventful day. We mowed the temple block, which can be exasperating. The grass is usually shorter because we mow there consistently thus making our lines harder to see. Besides that though, it’s mowing, so naturally I find it a thrill. Yesterday I was mowing one of the edges and I tapped a road sign with my mower. It was one of those signs with the holes in it. To my horror, a disgruntled family of wasps swarmed out trying to find what had disturbed their peace and quiet. I abandoned my mower and hopped back to were Hayley was. I squeaked out that there were wasps that wanted to kill me and she calmly mowed around the road sign. I’m pretty sure I have made enemies with every wasp on those grounds. Last week I was watering and I happened to notice two wasps minding their own business. My 5 year old Sally took over for about two seconds as I decided that it would be hilarious to spray them. Needless to say, they were not happy. They flew around furiously trying to find the culprit. I sneakily moved to the other bushes with hopes that they would forget they were angry and move on with life.

Today was the most hilarious day in all of creation. Hayley took the day off because her sister was having her baby so I started off in a bad mood. On top of that, we had to mow the temple park which takes FOREVER to mow. As much as I love seeing those clear, straight lines down 900 East, I was not in the mood for excess mowing. I was down by the light on one of the grass patches that runs along the road. I started with my first line and I saw one of the control valve boxes was in my way. I didn’t worry about mowing around it, so I plowed right over the top. Before I knew it the lid had flipped sideways and I had fallen into the nasty, murky water. I had a death grip on my mower so I kept pushing the gas. My hands and mower were thus a lot further away from my left leg which gave me, I’m sure, the appearance of doing the splits. I finally let go of my mower and examined my current predicament. I, of course, was laughing hysterically and I looked around with hopes of sharing my embarrassment with someone. The three boys I was mowing with were all focused on their stupid lines. I rolled my eyes and got out of the control valve box. For the rest of the day my left foot and calf was wet and in pain. When I told Mike later he shook his head and laughed telling me that I probably wouldn’t have been able to live it down had someone witness. He’s probably right, but I don’t mind being teased. Needless to say, this has been a great day for mowing.

Who Mows Grass Just to Mow Grass?

Mowing today: This weekend I find myself shootin' the breeze down in St.G. I had hopes of mowing my lawn today(1) and they were promptly answered by my Dad. Mowing my home lawn is always a bit of a stress. The mower is not something I'm used to. It's difficult to move on the grass and it only has one gear: Fast. I constantly find myself trailing behind it like an owner on a leash. Truth be told, I can deal with how fast it goes. It's my dad's technique that drives me crazy. The poor, ignorant man holds efficiency above that of art and beauty which, as many people do not know, is what mowing is really all about. We double teamed the lawn, me with the 21 and him on his rider mower. He had me mow the hard to get spots and said he'd meet me in between. I couldn't help but grimace as our lines collided like two horribly gone wrong trains. I tried to focus on the efficiency but found myself feeling stunted. Like Bach when he was forced to write only church music(2). Anyway, in our efficiency we finished quickly with nothing to show for it except a cut lawn. *shakes head* When will people learn?

In other news I pruned the rose bushes today. They're the baby roses that look more like flowers than actual roses. I pruned them the last time I was down so the bush was blossoming with new growth. Unfortunately, a lot of the new was getting suffocated by the heavier, dying flowers that had no place on the bush anymore. As I cut off these beautiful, but unnecessary flowers to make way for the new I wondered if I needed a mental pruning myself. I stared into my bucket at the black stems and white petals scattered on the bottom and pondered all the things I needed to get rid of. Sins, bad habits...bad friends. I remembered some of the bushes at the temple; the sagging stems that contained so many full roses but dead buds because the full roses had greedily kept all the nutrients for themselves. I thought to myself, how often do I prune? And more importantly, how many buds have died because I have neglected to do so?

Perhaps this blog is about more than just mowing.

1 We got Friday off this week for Pioneer Day so I didn't get to mow the temple block :(

2 Did that really happen? I swear I watched a movie about it in Orchestra way back when

Why does he look so mad? Psh.

You Were Mine

Mowing Today: Today is Wednesday, and as you will all soon know, Wednesday is when we mow the foreign language building. This is my FAVORITE place to mow. The reason being because we only mow it once a week so the grass gets really long and it’s easy to create those brilliantly straight lines I love so much. When I mow, I find myself becoming intensely focused on procedure. You see, when we mow at the FLB we each have our own spots we start mowing. Today, I went to the lawn I usually start at and I found it already taken by the 44! Micah had decided that him and his monstrosity could handle the small spaces that are, lets be honest, only meant for the 21’s! I stared at his lines in utter disappointment as my thunder was stolen. I still got my favorite section of grass, but all in all, my day was slightly ruined by one less lawn mowed by me. So disappointing.

I Hate Blogging

As this is my first post ever to enter the blogging world let me begin by saying that I absolutely despise blogging. There is a demotivator I saw once that perfectly described how I felt about the whole thing. It says: Blogging. Never have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few. I can see that blogging has its perks. ‘It keeps people updated’ blah blah blah. Facebook can do the same thing. Despite all this, I find myself staring into the depths of the blogging universe. With luck, I’ll find myself getting bored and in a month or so all that I’ll have to show for my blogging days are a few rotting posts and a lack of fulfillment.

Now that you all (you see I’ve just implied that several people will be reading this because, you know, I’m so popular and people just can’t WAIT to hear what I have to say) know my reasons for not supporting blogging, you must be wondering why I, of all people, would ever start a blog. Well, I will tell you.

Mowing.

A few weeks ago I started a grounds job at the Provo Temple where I get to weed, mulch, water plants, and, most importantly, mow lawns. To most I’m sure this job sounds like grunt work. I mean, working in the yard is certainly refreshing, but who wants to do it every day, right? In my few weeks of work I have discovered the pure beauty, and healing art of the outdoors and more specifically, mowing lawns.

A freshly cut lawn has, since the 50’s, been a sign of status. A beautiful lawn signifies that the Jones’s(1) might have a little competition. For the perfectionist, it gives one the opportunity to create beauty. Straight lines, especially those in a diagonal pattern, are considered, by me, to be one of the most lovely and pleasing sights. To look upon a perfectly cut lawn that I have mowed gives me such pride.

I was thinking about why I love mowing today as we mowed my favorite section of grass. Could the reason be because of the smell? Fresh cut grass has always reminded me of baseball, Super Mario Brothers, and hot dogs. It reminds me of America and fireworks and the band Chicago(2). There is also the possibility that I love mowing the lawn because my dad never let me. Being the passive aggressive person that I am, that would make sense. Before I ever got my hands on a mower I was terrified of mowing. Frightened of the thought of possibly breaking a sprinkler head or having sloppy lines, I couldn’t imagine that I would ever be GOOD at mowing. Little did I know that I would discover a passion for lines, and blades, and safety glasses.

So, in realizing that I love mowing far too much, I figure, why not tell the world?! I love my logic. This blog, in the end, is a place to express the thoughts that I have while doing my favorite thing in the whole wide world. Welcome friends and family, to The Mowers Corner.

1 “I don’t keep up with the Jones‘s! I AM the Jones‘s!”

2 When I want to get some serious mowing done, I usually listen to Chicago.